Kiss the Pain

With her eyes fixated on the heavens,

She waded through tears and blood.

The river of carnage did not deter her hope.

Her smile shown the way through a grim reality

And beauty manifested itself in clandestine corners.

The oxymoron of life is that we cease to suffer

When we rejoice in our tribulations,

Laugh through the pain,

And kiss the eyelids of our enemies.

Original Essence

The metal is sharp, the past cuts deep

To face it hurts worse than to drown it

But does it?

Externalizing the internal strife

I lay on a cold floor face down

And feel each sensation, alone

I must traverse these sands step by step, slowly

One foot in front of the other, not blindly

My transgressions resonate the reverberation of a distant cry

The cry is the “I” crying in me, yet outside me

Why can’t I feel me anymore?

Separation from self, the pain becomes bearable

And I am not I any longer

But then who have I become?

In this bleak, hostile land I seek reconnection

With that “other” self…the former

The real, the original, the essential…..self

The becoming is thus the “returning”

But how will I meet I?  Will I accept I?

Will I remember I?

Is it too late?

This Day

I want to thank you for this day.

The past is a ghost, and the future a fortune.

Encapsulated in this moment

We are untouchable.

Intertwined in ecstatic stillness

Yesterday is forgotten, tomorrow is a whisper.

To cherish this second, this heartbeat, this breath....

Makes everything okay.

So, my beloved, I thank you simply and completely for this day.

This Will Not Kill Me Either

I walked in hell, for a time.

I smiled with tears in my mouth, for a time.

I almost choked on my despair, for a time.

The bittersweet demons of my past still peer from perched precipices

And I wonder when that time will pass.

Or is it always present, the past?

Does it ever dissipate?

This taste, putrid

This sorrow, maddening

Your touch, beautiful

Your face, serene

It is what I seek, that serenity

It is what I need, your touch.

But you are ephemeral, or so it seems.

Our love transitory, or so it seems.

Where are you now, my beloved?

Your departure was cruel, a vanishing act.

Violence is sweeter than this abrupt ending, this void.

I thought I had found my eternity, with you.

But, alas, it was a mirage.

But do not fret, my dear.

My heart has weathered much harsher tragedy.

This will not kill me either.

The Here and Now

At last something feels right.

Something could be for us.

Yet hopeful, I shall not trust

And callous I prepare to remain.

Yet each time your gaze rests upon my face

The pain of then and the joy of now

Makes me erase that inner space of woe

And I throw my fear to the gods

To embrace the essence of this place

The here and now.

Sufferance

She smiled until her heart cracked
Her blood was full of tears
Rivulets running in open veins
Cut by men.

Capitulation

The perils I face to love you;

At times feel treacherous.
The space I traverse;
At times feels infinite.
To feel your embrace
Mends the wounds.
Your kiss--the sweetest salve.
Broken, on bloody knees
I reach towards you
Only to grasp a whisper.

Your elusive presence invades my essence.

I am enthralled by the exquisite acquiescence.
Shackled by this need for you
I lay in silent torment.
An agony I have created.
By needing you
And losing me..